Thursday, July 5, 2012

the no good very bad horrible terrible day

If you are an SLP, and you haven't worked in a SNF or assisted living facility, with the geriatric patient, and you cry easily, then I highly DO NOT recommend working there. I have never had this experience before, of working with unmotivated patients. No one wants my help (save for one particular voice patient), they physically push me away because they don't have the communication skills to tell me to go away. My productivity SUCKS. I feel like I am sinking into a hole of professional despair.

I miss scheduled therapy visits. A routine. Materials galore. Resources handed to me from supervisors. Patient histories discussed. Full evaluations given. Instrumentation. Guidelines that make sense. Shelves of MATERIALS. Ideas. I miss Intermountain HealthCare. I miss the University of Utah. I'd rather spend my evenings creating my own therapy materials and piecing together therapy ideas from the closet at the school clinic, rather than reading through my school notes for some semblance of a therapy plan idea and then not having any materials to use for the pseudo plan that I come up with.

After being completely ignored by one patient, then told she wanted to go back to sleep by another patient, and then physically pushed by another, I couldn't help but cry. And I couldn't stop crying. I'm not a person who cries at work! I'm a good therapist. I've been praised to no end by my supervisors. I thought working in the school system was hard and disadvantaged, but now, I would definitely choose that over this. And it's only been my 3rd day.

Seattle is proving to be one of the greatest emotional challenges I've faced.

2 comments:

  1. Miss Molly. This post made me so sad. You are such an amazing person and therapist and I'm sure things will come together in time. I remember talking to one of my supervisors about what to expect in the first year of being a new SLP. She summed it up by saying that it's full of chaos and disorder as you're trying to figure the system out, organize/obtain materials, establish rapport with clients, and find your own groove.

    You are so so capable and smart. And, honestly, sometimes you just need to cry. So cry when you need to, keep your chin up, and keep being that amazing therapist.

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  2. Thanks lady. I appreciate the sentiments. It's true though, I think the first year is going to be so much harder than school and externships.

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